When You Don't Know Your Friend's Name

According to the National Bureau of Statistics, the unemployment rate in Nigeria was 14.2% in the last quarter of 2016 (up from 13.9% in the preceding quarter).

Bad as this looks, I think it's actually much worse than the numbers show.

Let me paint a scenario.

Say Mr. Emeka Babatunde Ahmed has a job or is employed or engaged in some meaningful way and he is on his way to work on a Monday morning.

The time is 7:15am

Somewhere around Yaba bus stop, an accident occurs. A Danfo runs into an Okada, and both rider and passenger are sprawled on the ground. A small crowd gathers and the driver is trying to explain how it was the Okada man's fault while everyone is insisting that he takes the accident victims to the hospital.

What do you expect Emeka Babatunde Ahmed to do?

Join the crowd in hassling the Danfo driver or continue on his way to work?

We all expect he would feel pity for the Okada rider and his passenger and maybe stand in the crowd for a minute or two ranting about how reckless Danfo drivers are and then he would continue on his way to work.

I said I believe the unemployment rate in Nigeria is a lot higher than 14.2% and I will tell you a story to illustrate why I think so.

Early this year, right after MMM crashed, I was driving to work when this guy steps in front of my car on Apapa Road, just before Costain roundabout. Thankfully, I was only doing about 40 km/h. I was about 20 meters away from this guy and I saw him look at me, turn away and step off the curb onto the road. I virtually stood on my brakes to avoid hitting him.

There was some impact and my right headlamp broke but he didn't seem too battered; just a little shaken. Luckily for me, everyone around saw what had happened and there was even a policeman in mufti who told me to get in my car and drive away since it wasn't my fault and the guy wasn't hurt.

Then out of nowhere, this other guy shows up and starts talking about how his friend may be bleeding internally and had to be taken to a hospital. And then three more guys show up and apparently, they are all best buds.

I agree to take their friend to the hospital and all four of them hop into my car. At first, they say there is a traditional chiropractor not too far away in Ebute Metta but when we get there, we are told she is not in. Next, they say we should take him to the General Hospital. At this point, I call an admin officer at work and ask if my medical benefits could cover other individuals in accidents I was involved in. He responded in the affirmative.

When I tell them I'm taking their friend to my own hospital, three of them ask me to drop them off. Now it's just the first friend and the dude involved in the accident left in the car.

We get to the hospital and the nurses take the guy involved in the accident upstairs to run preliminary tests. The lady at the front desk asks for his name so she can open a file for him and this guy's friend goes, "I am coming, let me go and ask him his name". He didn't even know the guy!

Why would a full grown man with no visible physical disabilities or apparent mental impairment jump into a car with another man involved in an accident who he does not know on a weekday morning. It kind of reminded me of how I used to jump at every opportunity to get into the car whenever my dad, brother or one of my sisters was going out. I didn't have any business where they were going, but I just loved being in the car.

I left the hospital after signing for his treatment to be billed to me.

And this story is the basis of my assumption that there are more unemployed or underemployed people on the streets of Nigeria than the statistics would have us believe.

Time and again, I have seen it happen. There's an accident or an altercation of some sort and before you know it, a crowd has gathered and most of these people stay until the very end.

Statistics always tell a story. And like every story, it is entirely the prerogative of the story teller to take the plot wherever he wants.

#KeepTheChangeBae: True Feminism Vs the Entitled Male Mentality

Edit: I actually started this in May but only just finished it.

So once again in my usual LASTMA fashion, I am late to the conversation. For all the National LASTMA Directors who don’t even know what the hashtag is about, let me give you the gist.

So sometime in March this year, this guy (@Pabloayodeji) went on Twitter to rant about how a babe (@Missmoshiku) he took out didn’t agree to a relationship with him after agreeing to go out on a date with him. He went on to call her broke and hungry.

Her response to his tweet was epic!

Apparently, dude had spent just N3,800 on the date. They had seen a movie and the tickets cost N1,200. He also spent N400 on two bottles of water, N1,000 for two hotdogs and N1,200 for Yoghurt.

She transferred N5,000 to his account and asked him to use the change for public transport.

Ouch!

To make the burn worse, “Pablo” (Senor Emilio Escobar Gaviria would turn over in his grave if he knew how low his name has fallen) had previously asked his date for money to buy chicken (C’mon man! And you still had the guts to call her broke and hungry?) in a WhatsApp chat and that was how she got his account number.

First of all, I think I need to move to Ibadan! N3,800 for a date that would cost at least N10,000 in Lagos. Ibadan people, my hands are up oo! Double tuale!

The thing that really struck me when the tweets started trending was that he actually thought spending money, whatever the amount, meant she had no right to refuse his advances. Sad as it is, this is the prevalent mindset amongst a lot of men. “I did something for you, so you owe me”.

I read a post on Instagram today about a lady who got rescued from being gang raped by a guy who ended up asking for sex as his reward for helping her.

One word. Sick.

In my opinion, this has grown out of the dictates of a society which says that the man is in charge and the woman should always be subject to or dependent on him in one way or another.

Is there anything wrong in men being granted dominance or power by society? My answer straight off the bat would be no. In nature, male dominance is well established in virtually all animal species (we are higher animals after all). The problem, I think, is that man has abused this power.

Darwin believed male dominance evolved as a result of natural selection working through male competition both between and within tribal groups of males. Study nature and you would begin to get an idea of the real purpose of male power and dominance in the natural scheme of things.

Males fight to earn the right to mate with females, they hunt and provide for their mates and protect their young in most instances. So dear sir, your “natural strength and dominance” is for you to go out there and compete with your mates and not to oppress and subjugate women.

@Missmoshiku did women the world over proud by putting Pablo in his place.

True feminism, I think, is women demanding to be treated as equals with men, being given equal opportunities and their political, economic, personal, and social rights not being trampled on.

Peace out!